I Just Couldn't Let You
by BlueEpiks13
Summary: COMPLETE!!thought it was complete now it iswatch for sequel S7 Spike comes back- much different then others- B/S X/A Surprise guest!Something is different but will they find out what it is?What is really on Xander's mind? Please R&Rand i do challenges
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, the belong to the creator of BtVS.  
  
*A/N: Hey! This is my first fanfic ever. Ummm.. It is a complete Spuffy. I would really like some feed bad bad and good. I will take ideas for the story , like suggestions for plots or ya know.. Well please enjoy and don't forget to ReViEw!  
  
  
  
I Just Couldn't Let You.. By: Undefined  
  
As he walks down the road, the same road that he has been walking on for the past week, he thinks about where everything went wrong. Was it when Captain Cardboard came back and he still pushed it? Or was it the night.... He just couldn't think about or he'd have a break down like the last time. He tried to think about something else.  
  
As he looked up he noticed that it was one of those nights where you could see every star in the night sky. He felt as if he were back in Africa. But then reality hit him and he realized where he really was.  
  
As he continues to walk he notices where he is and comes to a complete stop. It the Summer's home. He notices that the light in Buffy's room turns on, and she steps in front of the window. He noticed something in her hand. He suddenly realizes what it is, so he runs up to the house, slams the door open and bolts up the stairs and bursts into Buffy's room.  
  
"What are you trying to do?!?!" he says looking like he's about to die..again. "SPIKE!!!" she said startledly "what do you mean.?" " I saw you in the window, holding the knife. And I don't care how much you hate me, I just couldn't let you do it. I couldn't let you kill yourself" he said trying to catch his breath. "First of all I don't hate you at all, just a little disappointed in you" she said, letting the fact the he was finally home sink in " and it's not a knife it's the remote to my stereo. It might feel like my heart is breaking and that apart of me is missing because you left, but I could never take my own life. Not now that you're back. Which, by the way, I've known for the last week that you were home. I just couldn't get up enough nerve to walk out to your crypt."  
  
Mean while Spike is just standing there with this awkward look on his face. He looks happy and sad and terrified at the same time. Terrified that he could loose her again.  
  
"Oh" was all that he could master out.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Down stairs in the kitchen Spike and Buffy are sitting across from each other on the island. They're not really talking just sorta that uncomfortable silence and just looking at each other.  
  
"So, where's the rest of the gang?" Spikes voice broke the silence between the old enemies. "Oh, well Xander, Anya and Dawn went on vacation for a week, they left this morning. I don't really remember the name of the beach that they went to. And Willow went back to England with Giles and she is in a Coven trying to get rid of her powers." " Well that's neat. I have heard about Willow going all 'Big Bad' on you guys. Trying to end the word was nothing, but trying to turn lil'bit into a great big ball of energy doesn't go over with me well, but I know she didn't mean it." He said sorta regretting bringing up what was probably a sore subject for her. " Sorry luv, should have send it. But, ummm. it's getting kinda early and the sun's gonna be up soon, so..."  
  
"Of course, but Spike, we still have some stuff to talk about. A lot of stuff."  
  
"Alright. How's tomorrow night, I'll be here for 8?"  
  
"That's great"  
  
As he turned to leave..  
  
"Spike.."  
  
As he turned around to face her, she walked up to him and just hugged him. She had never really hugged him before. He wasn't sure of what to do at first but the he relaxed and started to hug back. He never that such a little thing, such as a hug, could feel so good.  
  
"I'm glad you came back Spike, I really am." She whispered in his ear. "Me too, Luv, me too" and with that he kissed he on the top of the head and left.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * After Spike had left, Buffy's mind was buzzing with all kinds of things. Spike seemed different somehow, although, she couldn't place exactly what. But she would just have to wait until tomorrow to find out.  
  
  
  
End  
  
No it's not the end of the story I just haven't written the rest yet, it should be up in the next 3 - 4 days. If you have ideas that you might like to see in the story just write it in the review or email me at jjc1330@joshhartnett.com. Please review and keep reading!!!! 


	2. Ch2 Tomorrow

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters they all belong to the creator of BtVS.  
  
  
  
Chapter 2 Tomorrow  
  
It wasn't a matter of where he was it was a matter of where he wanted to be. He wanted to her to love him, no matter how wrong they seemed for each other, they were meant to be. He wanted to be close to her, he wanted to touch her, to feel her breath on his face. He never knew he could love someone so much, and have them be standing right next to you be they're so far out of your reach. He had never know this much pain from another person. But that was then, tonight they were going to try and start over. Maybe he could do it right this time.  
  
He could feel the box in the side pocket of his new leather jacket; it kept hitting the side of his leg slightly. That was the real reason he had gone into the bathroom. To give her the present that he knew she would love, his heart. He took out the small deep blood red velvet box; it was almost as soft as her skin he thought, smiling to himself. The gist was an airloom (sp?) that had been in his family for generations before him. It was a silver heart with a red ruby in the middle and was outlined with small white diamonds. He wasn't sure if he was going to give it to her tonight or not. He was so nervous, he had forgotten about his soul. How was he supposed to tell her??  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
It had been two hours and she still had no idea what she was going to wear. She knew it didn't matter to him, but it mattered to her. She was thinking of wearing the outfit that she had sang "Where do we go from here...?" but that brought up to many bad memories. She finally decided on a black tank top with a v-neck and white jeans. She had spent the entire day cleaning, making sure everything was perfect. She even ended up rearranging the entire living room. While she was cleaning she had come upon Spike's old duster. Sometimes she would sleep with his duster on so she could feel closer to him and have his smell surround her, it made it seem like he was still there.  
  
She knew tonight was important. It was a new beginning and that they both were going to learn a lot from each other. She had noticed a change in him the other day, but couldn't tell what it was. She had so many questions for him and a giant apology. If it hadn't been for her he never would have left Sunnydale in the first place. She wanted to know where he went, what did he do and why did he come back???  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Spike stopped right in front of the door. It felt as if the tiny velvet box was throbbing, wanting to be seen. He knocked on the door twice. When she opened the door, he was in a state of awe. He hadn't seen her in so long had forgotten how beautiful she was. It was like he was seeing her for the first time ever. When she finally looked at him they both stood there smiling.  
  
"Come on in"  
  
"I'd love to" he said with a smirk.  
  
As he walked in the house felt so inviting and it smelt like burning candles and flowers. He closed his eyes for a second to breathe it in. even though he didn't have to. He felt something pulling him, he then realized she had taken his hand and was leading him towards the living room. It was set up completely different than it had been earlier.  
  
"Like what you've done with the place, pet. It looks nice"  
  
"Oh" she said, starting to blush "I got bored and all the slayer strength comes in handy once and a while."  
  
"Yeah, I can see that"  
  
They sat down on the couch, not to close but close enough.  
  
"So.. I hear there's some stuff we need to talk about on both sides, right..?" Spike said. He could feel his muscles starting to tense.  
  
"Yeah, well, this is going to be kinda hard. It always is. But anyway. That night... I don't hold anything against you. You were reacting to the way I treated you. My forcing you away was wrong. I just didn't want to admit to myself how I really felt for you, that I could feel this way without being hurt."  
  
"Buffy, you don't." Spike said calmly.  
  
"Wait, yes I do. I realize my mistakes from the past. I just couldn't let you love me. It scared me that you could love me so much and feel the same way for someone."  
  
"I know what you mean"  
  
"When you left" the tears started falling slowly down her cheeks. He hated it when she cried; his heart broke when she cried.  
  
"When you left, my world crumbled. I wasn't sure what to do when you weren't around. I missed you. I missed you so much" The tears were falling steadily. She hadn't meant to start crying, but once it started she couldn't hold it back anymore.  
  
"Buffy.." He took her face into his hands and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. He bent his head down a bit so he could look into her eyes and said:  
  
"I must admit, you did torture the bloody hell out of me at times, but it was what I deserved for what I did to you. But that night. that night I went to far.." She could see the anger building up in him she could see it in his face, he was disgusted with himself.  
  
"But you wouldn't have done it if hadn't pushed you to your limit. I guess we should just call it even, huh?" she said smiling at him.  
  
"Yeah I guess so" he said like a little kid agreeing to something he didn't really want to.  
  
She just looked at him and then they kissed. Fireworks and all. She thought. When he pulled away he had a look of concern in his eyes.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I haven't told you my story yet" he slowly lowered his head.  
  
"The night I left, I had planed on getting this bloody chip in my head removed, but that's not what ended up happening"  
  
For the next hour she sat there listening to his story. Revenge. Africa. Demon. Soul. The words were just floating there, not having any real meaning to her yet.  
  
"You have a soul. Can you..?" She said, still letting everything sink in.  
  
"God, of course I can still.." He said "I'm not some big poofter like Angelus was. It's not a course, I just have a conscience."  
  
She couldn't help but smile at the comment.  
  
"There's something I've wanted to give you for a while now.." He grabbed the box out of his pocket. He looked at it like he was hesitant to give it to her.  
  
When she opened the box her eyes got big.  
  
"Spike, I-It's beautiful, but I don't deserve this. Not after.." he put his index and middle finger over her lips. He took he necklace out of the box and put it around her neck. It was made for her. The way the ruby picked up the pinkness in her cheeks, and the way the diamonds matched the sparkle in her eyes. The heart sat perfectly on her chest.  
  
"Its been in my family forever, I wanted you to have it so you'll know my heart belongs to you. To show you that I wasn't just a monster, I was a man."  
  
And with that , the slayer wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. She rested her head on his shoulder, and whispered "I love you, I have and I always will. I promise" in his ear.  
  
  
  
A/N: It's not the end. Lots more to come. Please review. 


	3. Ch3 Information

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. They belong to the creator of BtVS.  
  
*A/N: I'm sorry it has taken so long for me to post the third chapter. I wasn't sure how to continue the story. I've added in info about X/A, S/D, B/D, and Giles and Willow. Thanks to all of those who have posted, I appreciate it! If anyone knows a good Beta please send me an email at JJC1330@joshhartnett.com or just leave the name in a review. Thanks and keep reviewing!  
  
Chapter 3 Information  
  
Spike knew this road like the back of his hand. How could he not. He spent so many nights just thinking and looking up at the stars. They reminded him of her. He truly believed that she had become a star when she died. They make all people who do great things into stars. The walk home always made him feel something. Every night was a different emotion. All of these emotions were taking over him. After he got his soul, they rushed in, controlling him. But it felt good. There was only one other person who knew what he was feeling. But tonight his emotions were on his side. Tonight was a night of pure happiness and true love. She loved him. She had told him so many times in the past week. Everything started to fix itself.  
  
***  
  
The past week was one of the best weeks that they had had together. They learned so much about each other, and wanted to know more.  
  
Buffy had learned that Spike's real name was William Scott Bradshaw. He had two brothers, Jonah and Jonathon, and three sisters, Victoria and Sophia and Rebecca. His two brothers were twins and were two years younger than him. Victoria was one year older, Sophia was two years older and Rebecca was three years older. She learned that he was changed when he was 22, and he was born in July of 1880. He told her about how he used to ride horses and breed them. He had a talent for playing the piano and had a soft spot for babies. She learned so much about him, and was so happy that he was willing to share his past, present, and future with her.  
  
*** Spike was amazed at how much he didn't know about her. He thought he knew everything, but he was proven wrong. He learned about her old life before she moved to Sunnydale, the wonderful hellmouth that it is. He found out about her old homecoming queen and her class protector award. He learned that she wanted one child, a girl, and wanted to name her Elizabeth. Before she found out that she was The Chosen One, she had wanted to become a police detective. She told him that when she had died, she was finally at peace, but when she came back there was something missing. There was a hole inside her. She told him that being with him made her feel at peace again, and that she was happy that she was back. *** Even if they were happy and now considered themselves a couple, they still had to think about the obvious. What would they gang think? They hadn't talked about the subject, but they were both set on not hiding their relationship this time. They would want Buffy to be happy. But would she loose her friends in the process?  
  
***  
  
Before the vacation, things between Anya and Xander started to change. Xander found out about Anya getting her vengeance on and caught Spike and her doing the dirty deed. He knew that he had hurt Anya deeply, but it didn't even begin to compare. He had wanted to marry Anya, but not right then. He wasn't ready.  
  
Anya wanted to hate Xander but she still had feelings for her ex fiancé. She hadn't slept with Spike to hurt Xander; she just needed to talk to someone who would understand what she was feeling. They had gotten drunk and one thing led to another and things just happened.  
  
Eventually the two of them had to sit down and talk. Xander explained his situation to Anya and Anya to Xander. They didn't want to hate each other and finally came to an agreement. The two ended up making a deal to start over. They were now closer to being best friends than anything else. But will Xander's problem to commit continue to ruin the relationship?  
  
*** Dawn and Spike had always been close. Like brother and sister. Dawn always wanting Spike to hang out or have him tell her stories about his past. Spike protected her because he loved her like his own sister. He was also keeping his promise to Buffy to always watch out for her and to take care of her. But after what Spike did to Buffy, was she supposed to forgive him?  
  
If he loved her, how could he do that? She was so disappointed and angry at him. She never wanted to look at him again. But then there was the side of her that missed him so much. The side of her that knew he hadn't meant to hurt her sister. She missed having her favorite vampire around to talk to and hang out with. She just couldn't decide whether to forgive and forget or not.  
  
*** Over in England, Giles was working with the coven on Willows recovery. Giles and the coven were trying to find a way to take all of the magicks out of her body with out her dieing. They were trying to work something out with the monks that "created" Dawn. They were working on a spell that would remove the magick from her system, but she might have to give something up also. They just couldn't figure out a way around it. They were down to their last resources and not sure where to go. If only they could find someone strong enough to absorb all of the powers out of her, they would be fine. He just kept thinking of the name Ethan. Willow would never be the same, no one would. She had lost her soul mate, her better half. She hated the feeling of being alone. She had no one to love her. No one to keep her safe from herself. Giles had given her a choice once. They would take all of the magicks out of her body, but they would have to take her memories of Tara. She refused the offer and forced him to keep looking.  
  
*** Everyone had grown closer during that summer. Friendships grew stronger and people started making amends. After Willow had tried to end the world, Dawn and Buffy's relationship grew closer and stronger. Buffy had finally realized that she had wanted to show Dawn the world and not hide her from it. She realized that her little sister wasn't so little anymore, she was a young woman of 16. Buffy had been that age when she had started training to be the Slayer. Dawn was turning into a woman and Buffy almost let it pass her by. Buffy and Dawn started talking more and told each other more about what was going on in their lives. Dawn's behavior started to improve and Buffy was becoming less and less depressed. They were starting to feel like a family again.  
  
  
  
*A/N: Hey thanks for reading my story. I will try to post the fourth chapter as soon as possible. In the next chapter guess whose home and find out about how they think. 


	4. Ch4 Needing and Telling

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. They belong to the creator of BtVS.  
  
*A/N: Thanks to all of those who are reading my story. My writing has improved because of my beta (Shay3624). Please continue reading and reviewing.  
  
Needing and Telling  
  
They had been in the car for a good three hours and had two more left to go. Dawn had fallen asleep after and hour of driving. She was exhausted from all of the sun and excitement. Anya was reading a new book that she had found in a small shop. He couldn't recall the name. He was having the best time, but he was worried about Buffy. She had been through a lot lately and Xander wasn't sure he should've left her alone for a week. But she had insisted that she was fine and had some stuff to work on and take care of anyway. She had seemed pretty distant after Spike had left. After about twenty minutes of thinking to himself, he needed to hear another human voice.  
  
"So, what book are you readin' Ahn?" he asked curiously  
  
"Oh, it's.umm. The Guide to Your Inner Demon. Its written by some girl who is a seer and became a demon" she said. She looked tired and strained from reading.  
  
"Sounds interesting" he said with such slight sarcasm that she hadn't even noticed.  
  
"It is. It's helping me to control my demon side from damaging my human side." She replied.  
  
"How could it damage your human side" Xander asked becoming interested in the book.  
  
"Well, my demon side wants vengeance on all, but my human side doesn't want it at all. So, I have to watch who I do vengeance for. I only grant their wishes if vengeance is deserved."  
  
"I'm glad to know that you know the difference between your human side feelings from your demon side feelings."  
  
"Yeah, me too" she replied with and odd look on her face.  
  
@----%-------%-----  
  
Buffy knew that the gang would be coming back tomorrow at around noon. She had sat down with Spike to talk about what they would do. They had made the agreement not to hide this time, but they wanted to put off telling them about their relationship. Buffy would let them rest for two days. Then she would tell them that Spike was back. Then she would tell them about the soul the next day. And then after another two days her and Spike would sit down and tell them about their relationship together. That meant that they wouldn't be able to see each other for five whole days. She hated being away from him so long but it was for the best. They spent the night together, but he had to leave early before the sun rose. She hadn't been awake to say good bye, but he had left her two roses, one red one white. And a note that said:  
  
I might not be able to see you But your beauty remains in my heart.  
  
Love William  
  
She loved his little notes, and how his handwriting seemed as beautiful as he was. It just seemed so perfect for who he was. She knew he hadn't left to long ago because she could still smell his cologne. It was her favorite. She had bought it for him. It was Candi's Men. She always knew when he was close because she could smell the cologne. After about two more hours of sleep she got out of bed and it was about five o'clock. That meant she had at least seven hours to waste before the gang got home.  
  
*** During the week Giles had made many phone calls, trying to contact his old friend Ethan Raign. (How do you spell his last name?) He regretted having to go to such a source, but he knew how to lore him in. Finally after three days of looking for resources he found out that Ethan had been hiding out in Australia. He waited nervously as the phone range.  
  
" 'Ello?" said the familiar voice.  
  
"Hello, Ethan. Don't hang up. If you listen to me there will be a great deal of money for you if agree to something I need." Giles spoke as quickly and clearly as possible.  
  
"Rupe, how good to here from you, again." He said with flowing sarcasm. "How much?"  
  
"For the first part, I need some information on a spell, and that shall be $500. The second, if you agree, will be about $3,000." Giles replied.  
  
"Well, I accept the first offer. But what about the second?'  
  
"We shall get to that, first I need the information. If I feel you're are capable, then we will discuss the second."  
  
Ethan didn't want to agree but he needed the money. Any amount would do. "What spell do you need?" "I need a spell that can remove all of the magick from a witch, and bind her so she can no longer do any kind of magick. I need to achieve this without them dieing. You are the only person who can help me now and I need as much information as possible." Giles stated in a very serious and stern voice.  
  
"Now, Ruppie, do you know how hard it .."  
  
Giles cut him off before he could finish.  
  
"You listen here. Now, how many times have I had the opportunity to kill you but I let you go. You're going to do what I ask or the next time I meet you, you won't be alive to run away again!" Giles repeated angrily.  
  
In an exasperated voice Ethan replied "Oh all right you bloody wanker. Here's what you need..."  
  
*****  
  
Willow started to notice things and feelings. She was starting to understand the full extent of her powers. When she concentrated hard enough, she could feel the emotions of the people she loved. She could tell what emotions they were feeling but not why. She felt Buffy the most. Her emotions changed direction like a wild fire. For a few weeks after she left, Buffy was depressed, lonely and had felt some sort of understanding that wasn't bad. Then she was happy calm in love but was worried. All of her friend's emotions had changed. Xander had gone from feeling completely useless and depressed, to feeling wanted and needed. He was satisfied with life. Dawn had stopped feeling alone and began to realize that she was real. Sure the whole "ball of energy" thing bothered her, but that wasn't who she was anymore. Willow wasn't able to feel the emotions of her other friends like Spike and Anya. But for some reason her mind was not able to sense what Giles was feeling. Her gut told her that she wasn't ready to know anyway. He had probably put up a spell to prevent her from feeling him.  
  
***** Dawn was having the most wonderful dream. Everyone was there. Tara, Spike, Buffy, Willow, Giles, Xander, Anya, and even herself. Everyone's relationships were the same. Giles was like Buffy's father. Willow, Xander and Buffy were best friends. Buffy and Dawn were sisters. Anya and Xander were "friends". And Willow and Tara were in love. The only difference was that there were no such things as slayers, demons, vampires, the key, witches, watchers, even the initiative wasn't really. They were all normal. Leading happy purposeful lives. Part of Dawn hated the dream. Even if her life sucked sometimes, she would never give any of it up. But the other side of her wondered "What if.." Dawn woke with a jolt, which meant that their journey had come to and end. They were home. As they started making their way to the house Dawn started getting this feeling in her stomach which always meant something bad was going to happen. "Oh no." She wondered what Buffy could be waiting to tell them when they got in the house that was this bad.  
  
*A/N: For all of those Spike/ James Marsters fns out there check out his bands website at  
  
www.ghostoftherobot.com  
  
and  
  
the soundtrack to "Once more with feeling.." came out on September 24th. 


	5. Ch5 Phone Calls and Vibes

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. They belong to Joss Whedon.  
  
A/N: Hey! Thanks to all of those who reviewed my story. I'm sorry it is taking so long to post the chapters. I was going to post the fourth chapter last week but my Beta sort of backed out on me or just forgot. But anyways, here's the fifth chapter. Sorry about the titles it's a little difficult which name to pick. He He. If you would like me to read your story just leave a review, thanks a bunch.  
  
Chapter 5 Phone Calls and Secrets  
  
"Would you be able to perform the spell?" Giles asked.  
  
They had been on the phone for and hour and a half discussing the spell. They talked about what they needed and what the effects were.  
  
"I'm not sure. I haven't done something that big in a while. I don't know what the outcome would be." Ethan replied.  
  
"Would you be willing to come here to England to perform the spell? I would pay for the plane and a hotel. The three thousand dollars is not included in that."  
  
"That's fine" Ethan said" But, you know you haven't told me what all of this is about yet"."  
  
"Yes, I see. Well, you remember Willow. Well her girlfriend was shot buy this person who was trying to kill Buffy. Willow became angry and called upon the gods and gained all of their powers. She went after Warren and his two friends Andrew and Jonathon. Warren didn't make it, but the other two boys; well we don't know where they are. Willow came with me back to England where she has learned to control her powers until we could find some way to help her."  
  
"Oh, I see" Ethan said sympathetically.  
  
"I'll see you in a week then, alright?"  
  
"See you then, Ruppie."  
  
Both Ethan Rayne and Rupert Giles hung up the phone. Ethan had to get some things organized before he left. And Giles needed to tell Willow about the plan.  
  
@~%~~%~~~~~  
  
He was going crazy. He was bored out of his mind. He had tried every thing from reruns of Passions - which wasn't always the best because you knew exactly what happened- to playing cards against his self. He never realized how hard it was actually going to be. To stay away from her for an entire week. All he could think about was Buffy. The only thing that he had ever really envied of Buffy was her warmth. He wanted to feel the warmth when they kissed. That was his one wish, but it wasn't as important as the spark. The spark was what he needed to know that Buffy really loved him. It was proof to her and him self that he loved her. After a few hours of being bored, he gave up. He decided to get some overdue house- more like crypt- work to do. He started out by going through his old cloths. `Bloody hell!` What was I thinking` he thought to his self. He put most of the cloths in a box so he could donate it to the Salvation Army. He found all of his old poetry. He read some. Some of them were awful, while others he thought he should have published. He cleaned all of the dust off of them and put them on the shelves that he had installed. He had always needed the extra room. He found pictures of Buffy that he had stolen from her house. He took those and the pictures from the previous week, put them in frames and put them and his shelves. After that, the sun was already setting so he made a quick run to the local Salvation Army. He was back in about half an hour. While he was cleaning he had looked around the crypt and noticed how it felt less homely then it had felt before he left. Maybe he would get an apartment near Buffy. Or would that appear too obvious. It would be a lot easier to maintain. He had some good memories here, but most of them were bad. It wouldn't hurt to get a fresh start. After all, everything was about to change, forever.  
  
~~~~  
  
Xander and Anya had just stayed long enough to say hello and give Buffy some suvineers. They bought her a Hawain shirt, Hoola skirt and a pair of crab sun glasses. When they left, Dawn and Buffy sat down to have lunch. Buffy had made Dawn's favorite, peanut butter and banana sandwitches, as a coming home present.  
  
"So, how was your week while we were away?" Dawn asked  
  
"Actually it was pretty good. I got all that I needed to do done. And as you can tell I rearranged the living room."  
  
"Sounds fun. What kind of stuff did you need to get done?"  
  
"Oh, you know, the usual. Bills, slaying, grown up stuff."  
  
Dawn could tell she was hiding something, it was so odvious. She was trying to stay away from a certain subject. Dawn just had to push her buttons to find out.  
  
"Have you heard anything from Giles?"  
  
"Umm. yeah. He might of found a way to help Willow, but he wont say how or what until he knows it will work." Buffy hoped Dawn wouldn't ask anything about Spike. But Dawn was always good like that. Doing what you didn't want he to do.  
  
"Hear anything from or about Spike?"  
  
Buffy smiled to herself. She knew she would ask. She just wasn't going to answer with the truth just yet.  
  
"Well, I've heard that he might be back in town form a few of my sources. I've checked out his crypt and it was all cleared out. I haven't seen him around or anything though."  
  
Dawn knew Buffy wasn't telling the entire truth. She always was a terrible liar, but she wasn't going to push to much just yet.  
  
"Oh, ok" she tried to sound a little disappointed.  
  
"So, how was your trip?" Buffy asked, trying to change the subject.  
  
"It was great! I got this killer tan, and Anya and I went shopping and got these really cute matching outfits. When we went to dinner, this REALLY cute waiter named Shawn gave me his number. It was great. We went to this awesome plave where you could get these henna tattoos that last for a few days." She said as she lifted up her sleeve, revealing this eccentric design on her arm to her sister.  
  
"Sounds like you had a blast!"  
  
"Yeah, you really should have come. It would have been more fun with you there." Dawn said.  
  
"That's ok. I had my own things I needed to get done."  
  
When they were done eating Dawn went upstairs and started to unpack. Dawn knew that something was up. She was just going to have to watch her sister more carefully for the next couple of days.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Xander and Anya still had about ten minutes left in the car. Xander could tell that Anya looked kind of confused, like she was trying to figure something out.  
  
"Ahn, are you ok?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm just thinking"  
  
"Don't hurt yourself" Xander said, trying to make her smile.  
  
"Ha Ha, very funny Xander" she said crack9ing a smile."When we stopped in the house to say hi, I could sense something. A change, something was different."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"When we were in the house before we left for vacation the vibes were thick. They didn't move. Now, when we came back the vibes are cleared and calm and flowing. It's like something changed dramatically over the past week."  
  
Xander wasn't able to sense the change because he wasn't an witch or a demon. But he knew what Anya was saying was true, he could feel it in his gut.  
  
"What do you think changed?"  
  
"That's the problem. I can't tell. The house just felt different. And Buffy's aura was calm and relaxed. It just felt different."  
  
They stopped talking because both of their minds were trying to figure out the change. When Xander got to Anya's, he helped her carry her bags up to her apartment.  
  
"I'll see you soon Anya!"  
  
On his way home he wondered why he couldn't tell that Buffy was different. They had been best friends since High School. Didn't they have some sort of cosmic connection? Before he knew it he came to his apartment in town and to unload his car. He just had this feeling that it was going to be a long week.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
She wasn't sure how to react. Giles had told he that Ethan Rayne was going to remove her powers and bind her from ever doing magick again. She was happy because the power inside of her had hurt her friends was going to disappear. But she was sad because she was going to be just plain Willow again. She had told Buffy once before "I had the chance to be Super Willow instead of just plain old Willow, ad I choose the Super me". Buffy would never have known what that choice was like. She had no choice but to be Super Buffy. The difference between the two friends was that one wanted what the other one had. Willow wanted to be free of the power that had done so much harm and had caused so much pain. But she felt like she was losing the one thing that made her special.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
(Narrator thing I guess)  
  
Willow would soon realize that she was special and always would be. She was special in the eyes of those who loved her. But how will she react to the realization of being special?  
  
A/N* Hey thanx for those who have reviewed, but I need more people!!!! Jk. Hope you enjoy the next chapte which is to be expected later this week. 


	6. Ch6 The Letter

AN*: I am so sorry that it has taken me a while to update this story. I have started working on another story and with school I have very little time left to write this. But I have taken the time now to continue this story. Thanks to all of those who have reviewed and you can review now even if you are not a registered fanfiction.net member. Check out my other story is you wish. If you don't like alternate universe then you won't like my other story. But that doesn't matter. I'm blabbering! Ah!! Someone stop me. Ok sorry for that. Sit back, relax and enjoy the story!  
  
Chapter 6 The Letter  
  
"Let the four elements of life Power of water Life of earth Force of wind Energy of fire Rise up! I evoke thee"  
  
They were standing in the middle of an open field. Willow and Ethan were standing in the middle of a pentacle outlined with white candles. As Ethan continued chanting, the skies became thick with dark clouds. The wind started to pick up and it started to thunder. Not one of them knew what was going to happen and what the effects would be. They just knew that it was their last chance.  
  
"With the harm that has been done! Remove the powers From the on before me! Destroy the powers And restore them to the earth Bind this one From attaining all magics And bind her from all powers!"  
  
The trees had begun to whip around from the harsh winds. With a sudden clap of thunder, lightning cracked from between the clouds and struck Willow right in the chest. She didn't scream. She just stood there with her eyes wide open and her mouth open, like she was trying to scream. No sound came out. It seemed like it had lasted forever, but it actually lasted for less than five seconds. When the lightning pulled back, Willow just dropped to the ground unconscious. She looked like a rag doll that had been thrown on the ground. The sky became as clear and blue as it had before they started. The wind calmed down and the clouds left the sky. Both Giles and Ethan had no idea what to do. They didn't want to move her, they didn't know if they should or not. Nobody moved. Not Giles, not Ethan and defiantly not Willow. They both just stood there watching her, but having no way of helping her.  
  
*****  
  
Dawn slept late that morning, she was exhausted. She had spent all afternoon, the day before, unpacking and looking at all of her stuff and talking to Janice on the phone. When she woke up, the house was empty. She found a note on the fridge from Buffy saying that she had some errands to run in town and wouldn't be back until an hour later "Great!" Dawn said to herself. This would give her some time to look around. See if she can find any clues to what was up with her sister. She went through Buffy's closet first. She found lots of interesting things, but nothing helpful. She found lots of awesome clothes and books and shoes. She defiantly knew what she was wearing the first day of school. She continued to search through her sister's stuff. She found lots of stuff that she would have been interested in like a year ago. Why did her sister have to be so secretive? Dawn searched the house from top to bottom. Under every hole and in every corner. Her sister sure knew how to hide stuff well. After forty five minutes she gave up. Dawn would just have to pry it out of her sister when she got home. But now she was going to read her sister's diary and try on some clothes.  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile, Buffy was in town. She did have some errands to run, but she was also checking their 'hiding' spot. Her and Spike had bought a box at the post office. The week that they were unable to speak to each other, they would send letters to one another. No one knew about the mail box situation except for the two of them. She knew that he had sent her a letter, she could feel it. The envelope looked as if it had been around for a while. It was worn in places, like someone had handled it many times before this one. Her name was in black ink, his hand writing, and pretty worn too. The address, though, had been added recently. The letters were bold and had apparently been written not to long ago. She was nervous opening the letter. She was afraid of what it might say. When she slid out the letter she knew it was a year or two old. It looked just like the envelope.  
  
Dear Buffy, Right now, you probably have no idea how I feel about you. You might never know. This might seem a bit different and unexpected, believe me, I never thought I would have enough courage to write this. This one time when I snuck into your room, I stole one of your CDs. It's something like "Dizzy up the Girl" or The Goo Goo Dolls. Well, there is this song that I listen to over and over. It describes perfectly how I feel.  
  
And I'd give up forever touch you Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever bee And I don't want to go home right now  
  
And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life Cause sooner or later it's over I just don't want to miss you tonight  
  
And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When every thing's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am  
  
And you can't fight the tears that aint comin' Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything feels like the movies Yeah you'd bleed just to know you're alive.*  
  
I promise I'll never leave you no matter what. I just want you to know how I feel.  
  
Always with Love, Spike  
  
When she finished reading his letter, she couldn't control her tears. The tears had already started rolling down her cheeks. She was so touched and confused by the letter she didn't know what to do. She wanted to run to him and see him, but she knew she couldn't. She felt so lost and everything seemed so clear at the same time.  
  
She was stunned at how right the song was. Such simple words could have such complex meanings. She was so happy that he could share something so deep with her on such a personal level. It was so strange how right the song was about him and her. She knew exactly what to write back to him. She took out her pad and pen, sat on a bench and began to write. It would be one of the most open hearted letters that she'll ever write.  
  
*****  
  
Spike was so worried about what Buffy's reaction would be to his letter. He had written it some long ago. He had written it outside of her house, underneath her window. He never sent it after he wrote it because he was afraid. Afraid of her reaction, yet again, and what she might do. He had sent it now, because he knew that she loved him. He was positive. He would wait until tomorrow to check for her letter. He had looked into some apartments. He found three that he really liked. The first one had a kitchen, a living room, two bedrooms and a bathroom. The second was wonderful. It had the same rooms as the first but was more of a Victorian style towards it. And the last one he had looked at just for fun. It was big enough for two. It was larger than the first two but a lot more run down. He was kind of just dreaming. Thinking that one day he and Buffy would live together. It was a fun thought but he didn't want to get into that now. He was probably going to go with the second one. But first he would have to find a way to make some money. He knew he would have to find a job at one time or another of his undead life.  
  
***** Xander and Anya had made plans to get together and talk. They had made reservations at a restaurant for lunch. It was at a new place called Bella's. They got seats in the most popular room in the place. It was called the blue room. It was all designed in dark blues and on the ceiling were painted stars and little lights made to look like shooting stars. It was very romantic.  
  
They both were kind of uncomfortable. They both had an idea about what was going to happen. They hadn't been alone together and talked in along time. It was almost too long of a time.  
  
"This is so ridiculous" Xander said  
  
"What? This?" Anya said in confusion.  
  
"Oh. God no. This is fine. It's just that you know why you are here and I know why I am here. But I don't know your reason and you don't know mine. It's making us both uncomfortable. So do you want to go first? Or do you want me to?" Xander said  
  
"You" Anya said shyly.  
  
"Ok." He paused for a second not knowing how to start. "I know that I have apologized a dozen times for what I did to you. But I just want you to know that it was never your fault. I loved you. I always will. It was me. I wanted to marry you but I wasn't quite ready then. I didn't want to hurt you. I wanted to see if we could try this relationship thing again. You know, give me a second chance. I think I could do better this time." Xander said. His voice had been shaking a little bit. "I know it wasn't my fault. And I understand that you weren't ready. I just wish you could have told me before we were in the church. I just don't understand why you chose right then to tell me that you weren't ready." Anya stopped. "So here's what I have to say. Right now I am not to sure what to do. I do still love you Xander, I always will. I'm realizing now that I am also not ready to get married. I just want to take things slow. I'm working on controlling my human and demon sides. So I guess what I am trying to say is that I would love to try our relationship again, but I don't want to start off as boyfriend-girlfriend kind of thing. It has to be like first date beginning." Anya said kind of rushed. She knew that she and Xander were meant to be together she just didn't want to get hurt again.  
  
Xander couldn't control himself from smiling. He was so happy. She still loved him and was going to give him a second chance. This time he would be more careful with her heart.  
  
*****  
  
AN*: Sorry about this chapter. I haven't totally read it over yet, but I am pretty sure it's not my best chapter. I tried. But anyways. Thanks again to all of those who have reviewed my stories. And I am trying to add more Xander and Anya but I am not to sure where to go with it. And I don't know what to do with Spike while he is away from Buffy. So if anyone has any quick fix ideas please feel free to let me know in a review. 


	7. Reviews

AN: I own my reviewers a lot for reviewing! So not I am giving YOU the credit of doing what others haven't!  
  
Msu: I can't wait to read the rest of your stories! When I read them sometimes they give my the ideas for mine! But thank you so much for supporting me as a fanfiction beginner! You've stuck by me my first couple of months! Post cuddlies are the best, I know! Lol Thank you for wishing me good health!! And yes the Spuffy stories prescription does seem to help! Lol. Yes something big is coming! But no teary endings, I promise!  
  
Jen: I never meant to confuse you! I added the right chapter to the wrong story! It gets confusing when I'm working on more then one story at a time. And don't worry, you will find out about his past soon enough!  
  
Networm: I'm a terrible speller and sometimes my computer doesn't catch my mistakes! But that's wy I look to my reviewers to help me and point them out. And how could I hate someone who tells me my story is wonderful and took the time to review it! Reviewing is such a beautiful thing!  
  
Silver: I'm so glad that you like my story enough to put it in a personal site! Yeah! My first challenge and alternate universe is successful!  
  
(no name): I am glad that you want to read more! But next time leave your name so I can thank yo9u and give you credit for your review!  
  
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! 


	8. Unable to Wait

AN: Please review!  
  
Chapter 7 Unable to Wait  
  
So many thoughts were speeding through her mind. She wasn't sure how she was going to write it all down. She finally understood how much he loved her and what she meant to him. She had realized while reading the letter that that was how she felt about him. They were each others salvation. They made each others lives make sense. There was no possible way for her write all of the things she needed to say down. It would have to be face to face. She needed to see him. Forget the time limit. Love was more important. She needed to find him. She stood up and began to walk to his crypt.  
  
***  
  
Spike, totally unaware of the fact that Buffy was on her way to see him, was looking for a job opening in the paper. He had no idea of what he was looking for but proceeded to look anyhow. Pet Palace, part time, 12 - 4pm. No experience needed. 8 dollars an hour. Spike had always liked animals, but he didn't want to go home everyday smelling like one. The Printery, full time, 10am - 7pm. Must be over 14 yrs of age. 7 dollars an hour. He could handle that. He had a knack for electronics, and the age factor was defiantly not a problem. He circled it in red. When he was done he had only about five or six jobs circled. Now he had to come up with a resume. Now that was going to be a difficult task. He would have to call and make appointments for the interviews. He would defiantly need to change his cloths and that meant he would have to go buy some new ones. He smiled. He would get Buffy to help him with that one. She was always good at dressing him up. Spike walked over to his chair and sat down. He laid his head back and closed his eyes and began to daydream. He let the thoughts just flow through his mind. Buffy. Dawn. Buffy's smile. Love. Someone loved him. Being able to look in her eyes and see love. Spike's thoughts were interrupted by a rushed knock on the door. He sat up and walked to the door. Before he even touched the handle, the door burst open and Buffy just rushed in. In less then a second, Buffy had wrapped her arms around Spike's neck. She was kissing him all over his face. He was so startled that he stumbled back a little bit. He wrapped his arms around her and they just hugged. It felt like they hadn't seen each other for so long.  
  
"God, I've missed you, luv." Spike said. His voice was kind of muffled by Buffy's hair and neck.  
  
"I love you so much! I never knew you felt that way. I tried to write back to you but I couldn't. I had to see you. I just had to." Buffy said between sobs.  
  
"Shhhhhh. I know, I know. Come, let's sit down." Spike said leading her to the small sofa.  
  
"I didn't know. I didn't know how much I meant to you." She said, the sobs becoming less.  
  
"I know. How could you have known? How could you if I never told you." Spike said.  
  
"I never meant to put you through so much pain. I always pushed you away. I pushed everyone away. You had always been there for me. But I was never there for you. God, I'm so sorry." She said. There tears rolling steadily down her cheeks.  
  
"I know. You didn't know what to do. You were confused." He said while kissing her tears away.  
  
"I'm so sorry"  
  
"It's ok." He put his hands on her face and lifted it up so he could see into her eyes. "It's ok."  
  
"You've always been able to see through me. I know it was about you, but I feel the same way about you." She said.  
  
They sat there for at least forty five minutes hugging and kissing. They were clinging to each other like it was the end of the world. But it felt more like the beginning.  
  
*** It was finally here. The fifth day. With Dawn unsuccessful at her searching and prying, and Anya and Xander wondering why Buffy was acting so strange, it was time. Xander and Anya would arrive for dinner at eight o'clock. Then Spike would come at eight thirty. That would Buffy some time to talk to Dawn, Anya and Xander. Buffy was so nervous. She had bought a new outfit and shoes. The shirt was a deep purple. It was a tank top with soft ruffles on the front. There was nothing holding the back together except for a few strings. The pants were black suit pants with white pin stripes going down them. And the shoes were small black boots. She was also going to wear the necklace the Spike had given her. Not that it was a decision, she never took it off. She wanted, no, needed everything to be perfect. She was making dinner when she heard a knock at the front door. When she opened the door, there stood Xander and Anya in their Sunday best. Anya was holding a casserole dish.  
  
"We brought food for our food sharing experience!" Anya stated cheerfully.  
  
"Hey guys! How are you?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Great, Buffster." Replied Xander.  
  
Buffy turned towards the stairs and yelled "DAWN! ANYA AND XANDER ARE HERE!!"  
  
When Dawn came down the stairs she joined the others in the living room.  
  
"So, Buff, what's this dinner really about?" Xander asked.  
  
"Well, it's pretty big, for me. And it makes me happy. I need you to understand something. It makes me happy. Happier then I've been in a long time. You guys want me to be happy right?"  
  
"Of course we do" They all said.  
  
"I can't tell you what it is right now; I have to wait until someone else is here. I just hope that you will support my decision. And that's all I have to say right now."  
  
Dawn was sitting there just smiling. She knew it! She knew something wonderful was going on!  
  
"Buffy, you're scaring us." Xander said "What's going on?"  
  
"I have to wait. So no asking questions until later." Buffy said.  
  
By the time they had finished talking it was twenty after eight. Spike would be coming soon.  
  
"Stop looking at me like that! STOP!" She said laughing. It was going to be a long night.  
  
**** A few minutes later the doorbell range. Buffy's heart jumped. This was it, their moment of truth, together.  
  
Buffy stood up and went to the door. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Standing there, she found a nicely dressed Spike. They smiled at each other. Buffy turned towards Xander and said:  
  
"Xander, before you do or say anything let Spike and I explain what's going on. Ok?"  
  
"What the hell is he doing here!?"  
  
"Stop!" Buffy said harshly.  
  
"Fine!" Xander shot back.  
  
Spike and Buffy walked over and sat on the love seat next to each other. They sat rather close.  
  
"The week before you guys went on vacation, I had heard rumors of Spike's return. I didn't say anything because I didn't know if it was true or not. The day after you left, I ended up 'bumping' into Spike." Buffy and Spike exchanged knowing glances.  
  
"We needed to talk. So the night after that he came over and we talked, about everything. What had happened, what we were feeling and what we wanted to happen. We decided to start over. A fresh slate. The week you were gone, we spent most of our time together." Buffy said.  
  
As Buffy continued to talk, Xander was getting angrier by the second.  
  
"This time we decided to do things right. We love each other. We didn't want to hide t anymore. We love each other and want to be together." Buffy said, turning to look and smile at Spike.  
  
Buffy didn't know how they were going to react.  
  
"I'm glad you two finally got over your petty problems and are together. Not that I really care, but I am glad for you!" Anya said in a cheery tone.  
  
Buffy was just worried about Xander.  
  
It had taken all of his control to not blow up in their faces. He was trying so hard. But he couldn't hold in.  
  
With an emotionless face, Xander stood up and walked out the door.  
  
"Xander! Wait! Please, don't leave it like this!" Buffy cried after him.  
  
"I'm sorry Buffy, but you know Xander. I'll go talk to him." Anya said calmly.  
  
"Thanks Anya." Buffy said.  
  
When Anya left, Buffy couldn't hold it in. She turned her face into Spike's chest and began to cry. She cried as if the world had just ended.  
  
*** I'm not sure what exactly I should do here. I have more ideas and I want to continue the story. But should I make a sequel, or just continue with more chapters. Personally I feel it is easier to read these fan fictions in pieces. I hate what things have like 30 chapters. Well, anyway, just let me know what you thought about the chapter and what I should do in a review! Thanks a bunch to you all! I love you all! 


	9. News

GOOD NEWS!! I have already started writing the sequel! It will be here sooner than I thought. Falcon Rider - I understand your point. I thought about that so that's why I am going to put a quick summary of what happened in I Just Couldn't Let You in the beginning of the sequel. I wouldn't want anyone to be confused! 


	10. Understanding

AN: Hope you enjoy! Thanks to MSU for continually reviewing both my stories!  
  
Chapter 8 Understanding  
  
Xander had no idea where he was going; he just had to get out of there, and fast. Of course he wanted Buffy to be happy, but how could Spike make her happy? What he had done to her, what he would have done it Buffy hadn't stopped him. It took Anya a few minutes to catch up with him.  
  
"Xander! Wait!" She called to him.  
  
He just kept walking.  
  
Anya caught up to him and stopped him by grabbing his arm.  
  
Xander, you can't just run away from it all the time."  
  
"Run away from what?" Xander asked.  
  
"Oh, come on. You've never liked anyone who has dated Buffy."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"You didn't like Angel because he was a vampire with a soul. You never trusted him because you never knew what side he was on. You got along with Riley, but you never totally like him because of the Initiative. And Spike, well, he's tried to kill us all, but he's changed, he's different. You've never accepted them." Anya said.  
  
"They don't deserve her." He said in a low, tired worn out voice.  
  
"But, someone like you does?" Anya asked, a little afraid to hear the answer.  
  
"I used to feel that way, but now. I don't know. They don't seem to be what she needs. Angel could never make a true commitment to her or he would become all evil. Riley felt weak around her and was like 'rebound guy'. And Spike, you know damn well why I don't trust creep."  
  
"Xander. You have to understand. Everyone goes through it. You went through it with Cordelia. Willow went through it with Oz. And yes, Buffy's situation is different. That's why Spike is good for her and she is finally realizing it. He knows about her past and what she is. He can take care of her; they can take care of each other. Like the way we take care of each other." Anya said.  
  
There was a moment of silence.  
  
"I know." Xander said slowly. "It's just, Buffy's been hurt so many times and it hurts to watch her do it to herself over and over. I just want to her to be happy."  
  
"Spike makes her happy."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Do you want to go back? Talk to them about it?" Anya asked.  
  
"No, not today. Let's sleep on it. We'll talk when everyone's in a better mood."  
  
"Ok." Anya said.  
  
And with that, they began their journey home.  
  
****  
  
"I knew he would react like this, but I had to choose, and I choose you. With out you, I'm not whole. A piece of me is missing. I love Xander, he's the brother I never had, and he needs to understand that I did what was best for all of us. I just wish he could understand that." Buffy said.  
  
"He will, luv. Just give him time. The Whelp and I don't always get along, but he'll realize that it's for the best." Spike said reassuringly.  
  
"I hope he does." Buffy said.  
  
****  
  
Dawn felt terrible for what Xander was doing to Buffy. She also understood how he felt. How could Buffy trust him or even forgive him after he did what he did. Spike was like an older brother to her and he would never hurt her, but what about Buffy. He had done it once, and he ran away. He told Buffy that he would never leave her. He had left for her though, to get a soul so Buffy would love him. She wasn't sure what to think. She had been trying to hide her contemplation from Spike and Buffy, but she could feel them occasionally looking at her. When she looked up they both smiled at her gently.  
  
"So, what do you think?" Buffy asked eagerly.  
  
"I'm not sure." Dawn said. "It's complicated."  
  
"How's it complicated, bit?" Spike asked.  
  
Dawn gave him one of those 'you-know-what-I'm-talking-about' looks. He looked down after she looked him in the eye.  
  
"It's complicated; it's complicated because I know how Xander feels and Spike's like my older brother. I know that he would never hurt me, but Buffy, he hurt you. And we don't understand how you can trust him again and even forgive him for that matter. I want you guys to be together, but I think you just need to explain why." Dawn said.  
  
"Dawn, we all do." Buffy started to speak but was cut off by Dawn.  
  
"No, wait. I don't want to know before Xander. We all deserve to hear it at the same time."  
  
When Buffy put her head in her hands, Dawn knew she had crossed the line.  
  
***  
  
She knew Dawn was right, but, it hurt as much just the same.  
  
She put her face in her hands. She was trying so hard not to cry. She had this knot in the bottom of her stomach. She couldn't let it get to her. But she couldn't help it. For the first time in her life everything had felt perfect. It all made sense. Bow they were trying to take it away. Why did everything have to be so complicated? She couldn't hold it in anymore. She started crying. Her whole body was shaking from her sobs. Neither Spike nor Dawn had seen Buffy cry like this before. Dawn felt terrible. She didn't know what to do, she couldn't move. Before she could even speak Spike was at Buffy's side trying to console her.  
  
"It'll be ok. Its ok let it out. Shhh." Spike was on the verge of tears himself. He could never handle tears.  
  
"I'm so sorry Buffy. I-I-I shouldn't have said anything, it wasn't my place. I'm so sorry."  
  
Before she knew it she was next to her sister in a hug.  
  
Then Dawn began to cry.  
  
"God, I'm so sorry. I want you two to be together. I'm happy you're finally a couple, it was just so sudden. It took us all by surprise." Dawn said.  
  
"I know. I know. It's ok. I was just so happy in the first time in such a long time. I love him Dawn. I really do." Buffy said. Her sobs were starting to subside but the tears were still coming.  
  
And before he knew, Spike was crying too.  
  
"Hey, come on. You're makin' me cry. Come on ladies. It's not the end of the world; we're goin' to be just fine." Spike said.  
  
Buffy and Dawn looked at Spike and then looked at Spike and began to laugh. They waved him over, and they all joined in a group hug on the floor. They were just sitting there and laughing.  
  
****  
  
That was the night that they all realized that it was all going to be ok. In their own ways, they knew that every thing was perfect. This was how it was meant to be. No matter what happened the Scoobies would live on.  
  
****  
  
AN: I know this had nothing with Willow in it. I felt I should end this here. I know msu, you told me a few more chapters, but I have a new theme and idea for the continuation. I will probably have the first chapter of the continuation up either during or after the Thanksgiving break. The title will be one of these choices:  
  
His Humanity New Beginnings The Journeys Finding a Way  
  
It defiantly be one of those four. So keep an eye out! Please let me know what you thought of the entire story! Thank you again to all of those who have reviewed and stayed with me since the beginning.  
  
GREAT BIG THANKS TO MSU!!! She has reviewed all/most of the chapters on both of my stories!! Check back soon for more!!! Hey! I just finished my very first fanfiction story!!! YEAH FOR ME!!!!!! 


	11. Hey

Hey every one, sorry I have been gone for so long but, I have been grounded. But I have bad news and good news. The good news is that I have like three stories in the making right now and they are long.. But the bad news is, is that I'm going to take a break from writing for a while. I have finals coming up and really big tests, and my grades have been dropping. And, if my grades go any lower I have to go to summer school even though all my grades are 80s and above, but it is my parents new threat. Anywayz, mentally, emotionally and physically I'm not up for writing my mind is a mess, its time for spring cleaning up there. But don't worry I will be back!! In a few weeks. And if any one wants any sneak peaks of the stories just email me at BlueEpiks13@aol.com. 


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